That’s Just Sad

There is an episode of The Simpsons where convenience store worker Apu cheats on his wife. Unsure how to act in the situation, Homer tells Marge that he wants to tell Krusty the Klown because he believes that he’ll have a good joke. The way that the scene is written, the audience is led to believe that there will be some grand punchline that makes sense of this affair. He is, after all, a comedian. He knows how to make light of any situation. He had for over a decade of the show’s run at this point. 

Enthusiastically, Homer tells Krusty the news. In a moment where the cartoon subverts into a rare moment of practicality, Krusty lowers his head and says, “That’s just sad.” He thinks about Apu’s children and how disrespectful the act is. There is irony in Krusty saying it, especially since he’s an even more notorious philanderer.

And yet, as I get through August 6, 2025, I think back to that one particular line. It’s not the punchiest thing that has been said on the show, nor is it the most insightful. It may, however, be one of the most real things uttered. In an effort for everyone to make a joke out of controversy, the clown being the voice of reason goes against what we’re taught, as if it’s saying that the situation is above ridicule and that it’s something that needs to be taken more seriously.

The reason ties into a situation I talked about not too long ago. As an act of sympathy, I wrote an essay called “Because the Internet,” where I gave Brad Taste in Music the benefit of the doubt. At the time, he was coming off a poorly handled confessional video that I think had a lot of good going for it. He was going to get off the internet and experience reality for a year. As someone who has had to cut back on social media for my own sanity, I had this belief that he could pull through and make a difference.

It would be wrong to suggest that I was never a fan. If anything, there is something to having a laid-back environment where somebody curates a music discussion. Brad was one of those figures who, at least as of a few years ago, had a grasp on doing livestreams that were flabby around the edges, but had real substance if you stuck around. There was something to the free-wheeling banter and celebration of music that was off-beat. Like his name suggests, he had a taste in music that was different, and I discovered a lot of smaller acts that way. The passion for discovery is his biggest draw. He’s not overly intellectual nor necessarily someone who does more than curate, but he had a way of making the internet fun. 

At the same time, I recognize the faults of being an online personality while suffering from mental illness. I don’t wish to flag him with any condition, though Reddit has been quick to suggest he has BPD in recent days. There is something to his acting out that is informed by a need for approval, and it’s clear that he’s isolated himself from the people who would be the most helpful. Ironically, being offline would’ve done him the most good, even though I imagine (as someone who knows very little about his personal life) that he doesn’t have that counter. He doesn’t have something to fill his aching needs quite like the slot-o-mania that is paid request streams. I recognize the addiction. I recognize the need to be seen and heard at all costs. I’d imagine it would take time to overcome that urge. Cutting loose was a good start.

I don’t wish to parlay the entire dramatic story, but I will say that it’s uncomfortable. I am not somebody who enjoys hearing people share their vulnerable shortcomings openly. There is a need for a transparency barrier that is sorely missing here, and the documentation nature of the internet is making it worse. Even if Brad deletes it, there will be some paper trail. Hell, his recent freestyle video was already transcribed and reuploaded by strangers. There is this overwhelming sense that everybody is pushing everything closer to the edge so that any facet of reason is ignored. 

This isn’t me defending his actions. I am largely more sympathetic to his downfall from a mental health standpoint because it does feel like a paradox. There are so many things that could’ve been prevented had he a confidante who cared about his well-being, who recognized that he really needed to get offline. I think I ended up caring about this situation not because it’s a chance to see a career fall apart in real time, but because I hoped he would get better. I saw that original video and thought that he might actually pull away long enough to breathe. 

And yet, on this day in history, I was surfing YouTube and noticed that his account had uploaded audio. Deep down, I could predict its awfulness since it wasn’t directly tied to the upload but instead a description link. Still, I clicked, and my habit of morbid curiosity hurt me again. 

To be completely honest, I am not as bothered by argumentative dialogue as some people. I’m not sure what it says about my upbringing, but it might even be cathartic to experience that tension from a safe distance (fiction) and break down why these people are so heated. I absolutely love Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? for that reason. They feel real and are getting at greater ideas. I might feel comfort in difficult subject matter because, on some level, I pretend it makes me stronger. I’m not always sure what I’m processing, but I’m processing something.

With all that said, my decision to listen to every minute of audio was one of those mistakes. Not because it felt like I had broken the seal on the all-too-personal barrier between public and private life, but because the hacker had found the most damning way to paint Brad imaginable. It’s too easy to reach the end and survey listeners on who they thought looked better. I’m not as up to date on every development as some – though I have spent way too much time on his Reddit page – but today I got enough to argue against my former self.

Brad needs help. Let’s mention that regardless of any biased context. Maybe you think he should be criminalized for it or that he spends a long time detained in a psych ward, but to me, he comes across as someone in desperate need of something.

Now, with that said, a major reason I couldn’t shake the audio was because it felt a bit too familiar. I’m sure those who suffered more regular abuse have more significant triggers, but this particular instance reminded me of July 2017. My sister’s marriage was falling apart, and, because I was staying with them, I heard A LOT. 

Nothing like what was mentioned in Brad’s audio, but the type of verbal patterns emerged. The tone of the voices got my heart racing. It’s the way that he spoke in the accusatory first person, saying a dozen, “look what you made me do” jabs. Sure, some of the language feels deranged and reflective of someone who might be too terminally online, but the greater goal was evident. There’s no humor to be found in what he said. All that I can see is someone having a mental breakdown at the worst possible time and doing irreconcilable harm to those I assumed loved him.

Maybe I became fixated on the situation today because of that audio. There is a part of me that’s still upset and worries about his suicidality. As much as I can write him off as a lost cause, I think it all speaks to the conflicts of being an internet celebrity. I’m sure he used to do this for the passion, but something changed. Maybe it’s the desperate reality that whatever he does next won’t be as creatively fulfilling. He’ll make less money and forever have to accept that he failed at his dream job. He won’t have that limitless stimulation, and most of all, feel a loneliness that most of us take for granted. Brad is essentially looking to work at a professional level, where I assume he lacks many conventional handyman skills. That is rough, especially if you’ve been a content creator for a lengthy period where you get too comfortable to think of a Plan B.

And somehow that audio still upsets me. I’ve heard a lot of arguments over the years, and even if I want to (but don’t) apply the benefit of the doubt, there’s still the fact that the scratchiness and volume in his tone feels sincere. I’ve never heard him like that. Not in no bit, anyway. 

More than any other comment, I think what bothered me most was the part where he forced his already emotionally devastated partner to perform eye contact. Even as she suggested that she couldn’t, he kept prodding. I don’t want to get into it, but the intimidation factors that come with that level of discomfort are unbearable. There is something lost cause when your opponent is playing on your weakness, where you’re not a person anymore, where there are accusations of “killing” me. I get the flamboyance of arguments, but as someone who witnessed a similar exchange that haunts their relatively recent past, it’s hard to not notice the manipulation.

I think it’s harder when you realize that the level of trust is also gone. The Brad who told me in July that he would be taking a break from the internet lied to me. Not only that, but he released a nearly 50-minute freestyle where he dissed a lot of people. 

No matter how much I try and psych myself up for a thorough listen, I just find myself coming back to the Krusty line. The first 10 seconds cause me to say, “That’s just sad.” I’m not sure if this qualifies as a sequel to “Toxic Gossip Train” since it theoretically came out before the recent wave of controversy, but it’s still a damning act of lunacy, likely done in a manic episode that needs to be checked. I am unsure where rock bottom is for this guy, but it’s obviously not happened yet. He hasn’t found the need to give up on the childish games and deflection. 

As much as I want him to get better, I recognize the fact that you can only bet on certain horses for so long, especially if you’re of my caliber and have no way to directly influence him short of starving him of donations. My heart still insists there’s good in there, but I imagine it would be shattered and thrown in a volcano if I looked closer at that freestyle, if I actively pursued the commentary videos attacking him less out of concern and more because it’s easy traffic. There are a lot of reasons to hate Brad right now, and I think it’s conflicting too much with what it says about myself and my willingness to think rehab would’ve helped, that he would actually step away from the internet, even as the audio hack looms over recent days.

To all this, I say the familiar, “That’s just sad.” I find it difficult to laugh at this situation because it’s not a great bit. It’s ridiculous, sure, but these cries for help may well be the final signs of life in Brad, and I hate to think I spent that time watching him crumble. Maybe his empire deserves to, but there has to be more to this than watching all the dirty laundry float in the breeze, where a man who simply had to keep his mouth shut to stay on anyone’s good side has since resorted to several self-inflicted wounds. 

If this is entertainment, it’s among the most shallow nonsense I’ve ever seen. I choose to believe it’s something more serious than that, where some distraction is keeping us from solving any real matter. As I’ve suggested, that may just be needing to step away and be an adult. The game was fun while it lasted. Now, all that can happen is a terrible branding to everyone’s legacy for the rest of time. Don’t continue to debase yourself. I’m sure Brad has some accounting to do with certain people. I hope he does before it’s too late.