As per usual, I open this with an apology for not writing on here more. The truth is that the motivation to sit down and knock one of these out can seem laborious, especially given that some weeks are just not eventful. Now, obviously, there’s been a lot to remember over the past month-plus that will likely be forgotten or not addressed at all. As per usual, this might be a post more relevant to the past week than any extended period of time.
Life out here in Southern California is nice for the most part. In a move that can be described as a bit backwards, we went from having summer-adjacent heat to rain to a nice, chilly temperature. If this is how things will be for a while, then I’m happy to bask in it. It’s good weather to roll up your sleeves and work outside, along with just enjoying a nice cool breeze. I do fear that things will inevitably change sooner rather than later, but I don’t wish to jinx it at this time.
Something else that inspired me to write this when I did was that I am currently outlining my next entry for How I Live Now, and that often ends up being a ton of b-sides of things I didn’t get time to write about in my other writing. I’m sure you can tell which months were the most backed up with ideas solely because it’s longer and probably has a bigger word count than my entire other output from that month combined. I’m trying to whittle it down a little bit, and this is hopefully going to get some of the bugs out.
For starters, I wanted to provide a brief update on Novel4. As many of you know, I am currently in production on my next book and doing what I can to make the first draft experience as seamless as possible. Unfortunately, I am two months behind the ideal schedule, given that I planned to be writing word one on January 1, but thankfully, the alternative is that I have been allowing myself more time to go through ideas on a per-chapter level. While I fear the current outline is too redundant, I recognize that’s what editing is for. For “Apples & Chainsaws” and “Lava Lamp,” I edited out 100-150 pages each. A lot of it was grammatical errors, but for the latter, I also removed a significant portion of text that focused on the rather rousing theme of people breathing at very normal times.
There’s not a lot that I wish to discuss at this time, though I’m happy to say that I am currently eight chapters into the edit. Even then, I’m sure things will move around before this is all over. Fingers crossed that I can at least hit 75% of something by the end of the year. Given that I’m envisioning this for a 2028/29 release, I notice that I have time based on how I work. Even still, I’m both excited to get going and irritated that I’m not more disciplined.
Though speaking of that, I have to acknowledge as well that January (and most likely February) will be the first time that I haven’t published a short story in over 14 months. Yes, that is a failure of some sort, but I also want to dedicate more time to outlining and getting Novel4 up and running in a timely manner. I have written one story called “Invasive Species,” which was sort of a riff on The Testament of Ann Lee before I actually saw it (quick opinion: really good movie, but not for everyone). I like it and am not sure why I haven’t put it out, but I am still writing. My ideas just haven’t been in that mode lately.
Which can make you a little stir crazy when you’re used to just putting words out regularly. If anything, I have that anxious sense of “publish or perish” where I feel inadequate if I’m not at least trying to get words onto a page. I’m even more satisfied when I hit publish and know that I’ve officially reached closure. Part of that is accomplishment, but it’s also recognizing that you’re building a portfolio and there’s something magnificent about having so much diversity to share with others. It’s a reminder that you’re still passionate and capable of producing meaningful work.
I suppose that has been my one major concern, if any, lately, in that I’m producing something worth my time. Given that I’m also needing to finish editing my Failed Oscar Campaigns for the month on Saltburn, there’s always a lot to do. Even still, what am I not talking about that I could, and does any of it matter? Ultimately, life is too short to get caught up in minutiae, even if that’s what I love. I could talk about seeing Zootopia 2 on Super Bowl Sunday before going to Barnes & Noble to buy Andrei Tarkovsky’s Mirror, which, in all honesty, I have become fascinated with ever since rewatching it. I’m tempted to call it a personal favorite now, but I don’t want to rush something as meticulous as that.
But what have I been up to? In all honesty, it’s been a lot more of the homebody variety. I do chores around the house before going to pick up my nieces and help them with math homework. I’m doing what I can to not get stuck in a rut, though it’s hard given how some days my writing isn’t just as prolific as I want it to be.
Those are the days when I often feel inclined to just go online and peruse social media or watch YouTube videos. I’ve also tried to get into the new Ryan Murphy show The Beauty, but found an episode so boring that it’s put me off continuing through the series. I may force myself to get moving since I’m close to the end, but it’s far from the campy, grotesque drama that it started as. I’m also working through Fallout, which, if nothing else, is another one of those properties that makes me wonder why nobody can adapt “The Dark Tower” correctly. I don’t know why I get caught up in media that is halfway to a Stephen King tone and think the creative staff is the perfect fit for that adaptation, but I do.
And I suppose that I should give a shoutout to some music that I’ve been enjoying. Outside of A$AP Rocky’s latest being a pure shot of adrenaline madness, I’m also a fan of Baby Keem and Willow’s new albums. What’s funny is that Baby Keem especially made an album that may not be a great rap album by certain standards, but is inspiring me to debate why I like it better than J. Cole’s more mannered album. Stay tuned on Friday for that. In all honesty, I revisited “The Fall-Off” recently and like it more the second time, but Baby Keem’s direct shot of emotion-driven storytelling feels more earnest even if it’s less profound at times. Also, it’s funny how Peaches has released the same album ever since I was in middle school. Good for her. She’s still doing good work making horny pop.
Other than that, I have been watching YouTube videos at night to try to wind down. There’s been a lot of well-made work as of late, whether it be about Emerald Fennell’s latest movie, or hyperpop, or a thorough skewering of TPUSA’s much-maligned halftime show. I’m also a fan right now of Touré’s channel, where he gives quick stories about his time as a Rolling Stone journalist hanging out with famous rappers. There’s one where he’s playing cards with Jay-Z that is a lot of fun (and the final essay was in an issue that I actually read). I’m also enjoying Queen Coke Francis’ videos, especially her livestreams where she’s playing a game where your entire house is a dating simulator and your bookshelf is superhot for some reason. It’s maybe a bit too allosexual for me at times, but I do enjoy how absurd some of the situations have been.
I want to also give a shoutout to the NCAA men’s volleyball real quick. To Long Beach’s credit, they are still atop the standings. However, they have met the unfortunate foe of losing to UCLA twice in one season. Despite all of this, I was at the home game and had an amazing time with like-minded people. It’s been a while since I was at a sold-out anything, so that was especially thrilling to watch. My hope is that Long Beach pulls ahead in the remaining season, but there are also the factors of a new coach and a different team to factor in. Even so, they really have good chemistry and have exceeded my expectations.
And, as per usual, I apologize if I have missed anything. My hope is to get back to doing these in a regular manner, though I have no current commitments to a schedule. Ideally, you’ll see another one early next month and not have to wait five weeks like with this one. If nothing else, do know that I am reserving certain topics for How I Live Now, which will still be jam-packed with goodies. I am also simultaneously releasing an essay on the Olympics, largely because I needed to get it out of my head. I am worried it’s self-indulgent or stupid, but it’s a byproduct of overthinking sometimes.
So yeah. That’s it for now. I’m currently going to upload all of these and then plan to go for a walk. Maybe after that, I will pick up Philip Roth’s “The Ghostwriter” (which, having just finished Richard Ford’s “The Sportswriter,” is funny timing) and figure out what he’s all about. I know that Roth is considered problematic, but he has been an author of interest in the past three years. This will be my fourth book by him, so I hope it continues my generally favorable opinion of him. Other than that, I am not looking forward to tomorrow’s State of the Union, but I plan to enjoy life getting back to normal after the Olympics. Fingers crossed.
So until next time. Hope all’s well and I’ll see ya when I see ya.
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